Even MORE Testing??

Yep. I thought I was done with state standardized testing... But today I had a math standardized test. Thankfully, we're the guinea pig year and the test doesn't count for anything. (Unfortunately for people next year who take this math course, this test determines whether they graduate or not. HAHAHA. Sucks for them!)

What else to say? Ah well it's a gloomily rainy day. But I just had some lovely rotisserie chicken with mashed potatoes for a snack! Because, yes, I enjoy having an extra-meal-like snack after school every day. I think it's probably better than stuffing yourself at dinner, because after dinner you go to sleep and your metabolism slows down. So it's unhealthy and you gain weight.

Well you probably knew that; just wanted to clarify!

Relationship Rant

Well no I didn't get that date.

So I did the logical and smart thing. (But not really..) I announced on Facebook that I was over him. My responses were pretty funny. (He was like: "About effin' time!" His best girl friend was like: "THAT'S A LIEEEE!!!" And I made up a bunch of stuff. People are very easy to manipulate and fool.)

Well obviously I'm not over him though I should be... It's been what?? Five months?? Yes I am a loser.

Anyway it makes it easier. I'd rather leave on a positive note with these peeps before I move.

Guess what??

Guess who possibly, maybe has a date with a guy this weekend??


... Well obviously me. It's my blog...


I'M HAPPY!

Happy Farmers = Jolly Ranchers

Me: Uhm... I'm like 85 pounds! *hides*
Anushka: OMG. Ya know, technically, a sumo wrestler could eat you.
Steven: So could Michael Phelps.

Thanks guys. Gosh, I love my friends.

Oh that happened on the band trip to Six Flags. Did I mention that both the band and chorus won first place in the Six Flags contest? Yeah. We're just that awesome.

Mental Vomit :)

I've been very tired lately. Well, not physically tired, but mentally. (Though I suppose that the mental exhaustion drains your physically energy too.) Why is it, I wonder, that I feel so out of touch with the world? I feel sort of isolated... And also just plain sad and tired. I dunno, maybe it's just good ole teenage angst/moodswings/PMS???

Nah.

I've just been lonely. Not particularly lonely in general, but lonely as in I miss Michael...

What a buttface! Do guys even realize how bad they make gals feel? How come HE'S okay and partying (literally. Why wasn't I invited??) and I'm still feel exceptionally (excuse my language) crappy? Now, that is just not fair. Then again, as our mothers always say- life isn't fair. Get over it Lauren!

But besides this random loneliness, I've been pretty satisfied with life. Or rather, content. I'm excited- I'm going to Six Flags on Friday again, this time a chorus trip. Fingers crossed that we win first place and the Esprit de Corps award!

Also, I am now the proud owner of a Sally Hansen Nail Art Pen! Aka... Nail polish pen. Yes, so I am happily tap-tapping away on the keyboard right this instant with silver and black tiger striped painted nails that I proudly did myself! It's been a while since I've really paid attention to my nails. (Last year around the beginning of school, I was having a nail art craze. Black nails with lime green polka dots... Black with purple stripes... Hahaha!) Maybe I should get into the manicurist proffession?? Unfortunately, that may also include PEDICURES, and ehem excuse me but I'd rather not touch other people's feet... I have germ issues. I'm a germaphobe, thanks. Hand sanitizer as much as possible! (Preferably a Bath & Body Works scented hand sanitizer bottle, too.)

Hm so I got Sims 3 on Monday as well. (Now [prepare to cringe at my geekiness...) It is fantastic! The graphics are amazing... And the multiple creation options are just ENDLESS. I can make a crazy goth sim marry a dream guy... It's all good! I admit, sometimes I will make a virtual me and make an awesome dream guy to go with me... Yes, I'm a loser. But I'm sure I'm not the only one that does that, like seriously! I also enjoy making virtual versions of people I strongly dislike and then kill off the sim. There are seriously so many ways to kill a virtual character... It's very helpful in times of emotional unstableness and angst.

So this whole post goes to show... That I am a complete nerd/loser/hopeless/emo/sortaspazzzyy/bored person.

In Perspective

Wow, just a minute ago I was reading some of my old PRIVATE blogs. (Tough luck if you wanna read them.) Honestly, I think it was strange how OBSESSED I was about so many things. And the way that I wrote was... Strangely different, and personally I think the way that I wrote in the private blogs was a little more revealing about myself. Like, I was slightly more descriptive... I suppose that may be because I was less impatient than I am now.

Also, I guess I seemed to have changed alot. For example, I guess now I am slightly more sarcastic... As well as impulsive. And then there's also the huge change in me: I'm a lot less... Hm how to put it? ... Less bound by the rules. Not just like school rules, parent rules, laws or whatever. Just that I let loose a little. I suppose I was a little more uptight a while ago. Like just two years ago actually. It's actually quite... Amazing if you think about it. Maybe the inner change was brought about by becoming wiser as time went on. (Sure, cheesy I know... But it's obviously true.) Then again, I guess I just became more comfortable in this world. (There is also the fact that my moving date looms closer and closer. Perhaps knowing that I will be uprooted from my currant life makes me want to enjoy life all the more.)

Even though I've only been in existance for 14 years (ack.), I've been through quite a bit. Whoever said that the younger generations have it easier was dreadfully wrong. I don't believe that we children/teens/young people (ha) have it much harder, but I also don't claim that we have easier lives. We just are. In other words, I suppose everyone cries, laughs, smiles, and hurts through life, just as much as any other person. We've all been through our own emotional trauma and joys, though none of our experiences are even remotely the same. Feel free to disagree, but that is my view on this...

Personally, the last three years of my life were pretty special. I really changed mentally, emotionally, and even physically (but that comes with puberty, rofl). Middle school is just a turning point of my life. A transition, I suppose. And I just can't wait for the rest of my life to come. Like all other people, I would not hesitate to freeze time as it is and sustain this contentedness that I feel at this point, yet I want to move on too. There's a lot more in store for me in life- I can just feel it.

It's strange how about a year ago- not even, maybe a few months ago- I was ready to just give up on life because of all the hardships that it's put me through. (I admit that life started to bear down on me. I became.. I suppose, suicidal. Please don't yell at me for this.) Now, my life is honestly being put into perspective. I refuse to give way to life. I want to live it and not run away from it by using death. That would, in my opinion, make me weak. Or rather, establish my cowardice to the world. I would be one of the many that could not bear the weight of the world. I want to be strong. (Who doesn't?) Rather than running away from the difficulties, I embrace them.

I've had my share of harsh obstacles and miracles and love and hate and joy and anger. And a fair amount of sorrow. I'm not mad at the world. Instead of viewing my move to Maryland like I was descending into Hell, I think I will simply accept it. No- that seems passive. How to put it? I suppose I will enjoy life as the wind takes me. Why fight the currants in the air? I'd rather soar through the horizon on the air thermals. I can't wait to see where life takes me.

SIX FLAGSSS

Yep I get to miss school all day tomorrow because of my band trip to Six Flags! And I'll probably use this opportunity to ask someone to the dance... Cuz dude, the dance is only a month-ish away. Oh well, at least I got my dress already!

WEEEEEEEEEEE SIX FLAGS HERE I COMEEE!