Internal Cleanup and Resolutions

I know that this is quite late, but as this is a new year...

My new year's resolution? To clean out my insides! (Okay, okay, that brings unpleasant pictures of dusting off an organ, but you get my meaning!) I feel as if in the past few months (alright: years), I've been absorbing and giving off too much bad energy. Thus, life has been throwing me more bad energy. Superstitious, I know, but doesn't it make sense? Like: What you give is what you get.

Maybe... Karma? Well, not exactly the right word. Oh well.

Anyway, I just want to do an internal cleanup. Almost like a computer doing a viral scan. (Nerdy comparison, whoo!) I imagine my conscience is pretty dusty and such. (Not because of guilt, obvs. Because of... Everything!)

In addition to this, I've resolved to "carpe diem", or "seize the day". Perhaps that would be considered an extension of the internal cleaning; however, it seems more like a result of some kind. After all, I need to improve my mentality in order to live better/live life to the fullest.

I've noticed that in the past years, I've been shrinking into myself like a porcipine curling in fright, guarding itself from the world with its spiny needles. Last year, I know I was trying to change that. I pretty much ruined that though, by becoming reckless and making many foolish mistakes. Some things I did last year, I don't regret at all. Naturally, many I do. I won't be making the same mistakes this year. I think that I failed because my strategy was all wrong. My goal was to be MORE reckless, because before that, I was TOO timid. Either way was actually too extreme though!

Such as a viper, I'm just waiting to form strategies. I recoil from failure and wait until I recover. Okay, so that made me sound psychotically evil. Yet, this analogy seems right. (Though I must credit my astrology books for this highly appropriate description of me... I love astrology books!)

So, to condense this all. My resolutions for the year:

1. Forgive myself and everyone else.
2. Carpe diem; seize the day! Take those opportunities!
3. Think thoroughly before I act... But not too much. Or I'll never act.
4. Let the past go. (Wait, does that go with #1???)
5. Update this blog more!
6. Expand the Lolita section of my wardrobe more. (If you don't know what Lolita fashion is, go look that up... And shame!)
7. Try to improve at Chinese chess. (Okay, I doubt that this will happen.)
8. Have a healthier diet and drink more water.
9. Get all A's in school. (Psh, not hard. Already doing that, fools!)
10. I actually don't have a #10, but only 9 resolutions is uneven, so... Yep.

Britney Spears?

Now before I get into this, this post is solely my opinion on this pop star. I'm not asking you to agree with me or brainwash you to think like me or anything. I'm simply putting out my opinion and thoughts here! Also, this is based SOLELY on her MUSIC. I am not taking into account her personal life, or the "scandals", or whatever here. Just "me... Against the musc." :P

I think the title clearly illustrates my feelings for Britney. Her name + ? = wtfasjdis?

Meaning: I am just absolutely baffled by why people like her music. Sure, it's catchy. It's got a nice beat. Sometimes I believe that her songs would be lovely- sung by another person.

I mean, don't get me wrong: I admire her for her ability to get all the way to the top as a huge idol of pop. I have absolutely nothing against her personally. It's obviously not easy at all to get recognized worldwide. Or have quite as many songs as she does topping charts.

But her voice and my ears just don't agree. Listen to her singing. No, really listen to it. Not the song, but the vocal quality. I am probably (okay, most definitely) not the first to point this out, but like so many others, I must point it out again. In my opinion, on a range of 1-10 (10 being the best), her voice scores a 4.... Honestly! It sounds dreadful. She sounds like wailing, high-pitched walrus mating another walrus.

Anyway, I'm done ranting now!

K-Pop Guys

There is something strangely (and highly) attractive (and hot, heehee~) about K-Pop guys...

Okay, I will back up.

For those of you that don't know what K-Pop stands for (though I feel as if you SHOULD, if you've been following me this far), it stands for Korean pop. It is (obviously) a music genre... Though in my opinion, for anyone obsessed enough (such as moi), it is a LIFESTYLE, thanks.

K-Pop GUYS, are well... Exactly that. Korean pop idols... That are guys.

Hm, maybe I didn't really need to go into such a slow, and agonizing explanation about this term, but hey: some people don't know!

Anyway. Yes, something strangely appealing about them. The super hot dance moves? The chill-inducing voices? The sexy rapping? *swoon*

Ehem. Recovering from my fangirl heartattack there...

So, yes. I want one.

I Won't Say I'm in Love

"No chance, no way, I won't say it!"

~Meg (from Disney's Hercules)

Nope, I am NOT in love. Not at all.
Honestly, Meg is SO right. It's too cliche! And amounts to... Nothing. Hehehe.

I Don't Think I Love You Anymore

"I wish that we would go back to what we were before
But I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore
It's too hard to keep pretending, it's too hard to ignore
I don't think that I love you anymore, anymore."

~Hoobastank

I love this song.... And it fits how I feel at the moment. Yes, what a remorseful emotion, but 'tis the truth! :)

Well then. I better stop procrastinating on a project and stop typing this.

Hot Chocolate is Deceiving

Or, rather, Nestle's hot chocolate is deceiving. My mom recently remembered her favorite hot chocolate brand of the past- Nestle's. So, of course, she decided to branch away from Swiss Miss (which is the cheap brand my brother and I adore) and got Nestle's hot chocolate.

NO!!!

When we tried it, there was basically no chocolatey taste. And it was thin as water! (Though we dumped a whole packet and more...)

Then, the next day, my mother realized that there was ANOTHER hot chocolate from Nestle, but it was more expensive. But if it's expensive, why get Nestle?

If we wanted to spend that much on hot chocolate, we'd get Godiva hot chocolate. Because that, my friends, is heaven in a mug.

*sips hot chocolate slowly*

Carpe Diem! ... And parents watching cartoons

Today I feel like I was able to reboot my system... Or maybe it was a combination of yesterday and today. In any case, I feel wonderfully relaxed and upbeat for the first time in practically half a year. :)

My theory about this is that I-

Okay, I know that I just completely stopped midsentence, but I just experienced a somewhat odd moment. I just heard the theme song for the cartoon "Johnny Test" playing from the living room. I assumed it was my brother finally getting his butt off the computer and watching TV instead. So I got up to congratulate him (great role model and stuff, I know), and I just see my mother staring blankly at the cartoon on the TV. Then she looks at me. "Why am I watching this?" she asks quickly, then switches the television channel WAY too rapidly.

Alright then.

Anyway, I think my sudden urge to pull myself out of my depressing/depressed (which seem to go hand-in-hand) state was probably because I had the sudden realization that I was absolutely no fun like that. I was constantly beating myself up over things that were completely out of my control. So, in effect, I was also not "carpe diem"-ing... Or seizing the day. Which was my promise to myself.

Ultimately, "life's what you make it", so to speak. (Quoting a certain Disney star here... Can you figure out who?) In a rather morbid way of looking at it- life's pretty darned short. Honestly, you could die any second... A day will never come back. Sometimes, one really needs to take a step back and think: "Is this really important in the grand scheme of things?" "What will I regret more? Doing so-and-so or not doing so-and-so?" ... And the such.

Carpe diem!